Salmon & Granola

Description

Salmon & Granola, a failing brunch spot in North London, has just got another horrific review, which includes: “I had better service the time I got mugged”. Front-of-House Manager Lottie tries to stop her waiting staff from getting riled up over the piece. She’s unshakable, determined that her beloved team has the potential to deliver the best hospitality in the city. The waiting staff hardly instill confidence: Gilian’s late because she got into a shouting match with a corgi who was “giving her evils”, Scott is barefoot because his shoes were “trying too hard”, and Selin used hand sanitiser as toothpaste and now can’t stop dry-heaving. Lottie’s utter faith in her team is put to the test when a call comes from the big boss: he’s sending two secret diners to assess the Front of House staff. If they fail, he’s pulling the plug on Salmon & Granola for good.As the first brunchers trickle in, ever-hopeful Lottie tries to drill the waiters in best practice, but they’re abysmal. Scott uses his mouth to carry the bread because he ran out of hands, and Gilian mutters insults at the birthday boy because he reminds her of her stepdad. Lottie despairs. Just as Selin causes a mega spillage, the secret diners arrive: the painfully inconspicuous Angela & Gabe. Angela - with a very fake Australian accent - declares without prompting that she’s “an everyday go-getting business woman on business from Johannesburg” and Gabe sweats profusely with palpable nerves. These are the people that will determine the future of Salmon & Granola? Frenetic Lottie, side-coaches the waiting staff so overbearingly that chaos ensues. Despite the clashing of the diners’ OTT personas and the over-directed waiters’ idiosyncrasies, Angela & Gabe seem to be enjoying themselves. Proud, Lottie tells the waiters they’re doing great and to take initiative. Gilian notices them writing in notebooks and deduces that they must be more snobby reviewers here to slag them off! Gilian has a plan to force them to give a good review and then never come back. After all, Lottie said to take initiative. Angela and Gabe give Lottie a wink wink nudge nudge that everything seems fine and she’s hugely relieved. At that moment, Gilian delivers the threat: a whole salmon with its head cut off, ketchup as faux-blood, and a beautifully garnished “5 Stars Or Else”. Lottie despairs that they’ve never tried that hard over any of the table dressing, and quickly tries to save the situation with free mimosas. Angela, incredibly offended, stands to berate them, accidentally knocking the mimosas into Gilian’s eyes. In retaliation, Gilian punches Angela in the face. Lottie stands in front of the shut-down Salmon & Granola, which has a sign up saying: “Closed Due to Gross Incompetence of Workers”. Did they really have to be specific?

Biblical Connection

Salmon & Granola is an adaptation of the Sodom & Gomorrah narrative in Genesis 19:1-11. The restaurant’s reputation as inhospitable is inspired by the multiple references to sinful inhospitality in Sodom & Gomorrah, in the Old Testament and New Testament, e.g. Matthew 10:14-15 and Luke 10:10-12. I felt that a restaurant - with great service as a fundamental - would be the perfect setting for a narrative around hospitality. In Genesis 19, two angels - sent by God - serve as a warning of the impending destruction of Sodom & Gomorrah. Lot tries to be hospitable and protect the angels, despite the rudeness and chaos of the townspeople. In this film, the two angels are the secret diners, sent by the boss-on-high, as a warning that the restaurant risks closure. FOH Manager Lottie similarly wants to be hospitable to them, despite the complete lack of hospitality and threats from her waiting staff. In both the original story and this film, Lot and Lottie unsuccessfully attempt to help their peers; Lot wants to warn the townspeople, who don’t listen and are destroyed, and Lottie wants the waiters to keep their jobs, who are left unemployed when the restaurant shuts down.