Andrew Star virtually owns the UK's popular music industry. He is the judge and the jury on his own show 'Make Me A Star'. As the series reaches its conclusion Andrew is approached by the father of one of the two finalists who will pay him £10m to denegrate his son's rival, an 18 year old girl from a Dundee council estate. Backstage before the show begins Andrew meets the usual group of competition winners, VIPs and backstage pass owners. One of the group is an unassuming, modest Nun. She looks Andrew straight in the eye and tells him that, in the heat of the moment on live TV, he will only speak what is genuine about each finalist. Shrugging her off as 'a bit of a nutter' he takes to his judge's seat. Sure enough he can only praise the girl and point out the failings in the boy. Despite his assurances to the bribing father in the ad breaks, it happens two more times and, when pressed at the end when the girl wins, he reveals everything on live TV ... the corruption, the bribery and ... his willingness to go to prison for his crimes.
Make Me A Star is based on what I believe is the Bible's funniest passage. It's in the book of Numbers (chapters 22 - 24) and concerns a somewhat dodgy prophet named Balaam who is recruited by Balak, King of Moab. Balak has seen what Israel have done to other nations who got in their way as they head to the promised land. He doesn't want the same happening to the people of Moab so he recruits Balaam to pronounce curses on Israel. To his credit Balaam wants nothing to do with this at the outset, but then he caves in and agrees to help Balak, but on the basis that he can only say 'what the Lord tells me'. As he stands from a great height he proceeds to bless the people of Israel, much to Balak's frustration. This happens a number of times. I've always wanted to bring this story to life as it's hilarious. In order to modernise it the world of TV talent shows is ideal. It's big business, very public and the final provides both an underdog to root for and a bad guy favourite. Sadly, there are no donkeys ...