HUMDINGERS - the tanning salon workers revolution

Description

We open on the corrupt, reluctantly ageing, local Mayor receiving his weekly back sack and crack in Wigan’s answer to the Oval Office. The abrasive sprays of a FAKE tan gun hiss and fill the room. His secretary interrupts over the phone. “I’m sorry sir, it’s just. The franchise acquisitions are complete, but it seems like we have missed one, there’s one more left” He ponders as the golden mayoral chains sparkle on his naked chest. TanHairReef, the beauty salon, the last bastion of working class hope, is in a state of wild protest. It has become the home of the Tanners Liberation Army, the quiet George is at the heart of this movement, but spends more time designing logos than taking action. The real owner of the salon, Sandra, who is never present, knows all this noise is bad for business.Sandra confronts George who has made himself a cushty little “War Room” (storage cupboard). Adorned with signs of protest “LOVE A TAN. HATE A FASCIST” “TOP UP YOUR TAN. TOP UP OUR WAGES” Sandra shows how silly George is being and laughs at his drawing of a new logo, right on the back of her important lease documents. As George comes down off of the strange, hyper sexual, semi-threat from Sandra, he lays hypnotised on a sunbed. The ambient hum whirrs mystically and the beautiful dazzling light shines. Without a ring or buzz his phone answers and a voice starts speaking “Who the fucks this” “Oh you rang me” It’s the Mayor who has called to dissuade the Tanners Lib from their protests. He offers money and an end to it all. Outside the door we see Sandra listening. “You’re never gonna close us down” Cut to George, sat sulking outside of TanHairReef. Seeing that all hope is lost. He awaits some spiritual guidance. Which comes. In the form of a nightmare in his crushed diamond, Matt grey bedroom. We see his newly designed logo. The sound of sunbeds. The same hypnosis. We zoom out to see a tanned muscly angelic Jesus Christ holding the drawingWith a newfound energy and excitement. George and Big Ian set out for the boarded up shopfront of TanHairReef. They pass a homeless man. Sat in a sunbed pushing himself along with a wooden oar. He preaches of burning bushes, fire and brimstone. Word has spread and a small crowd of community patrons have gathered. Sandra and the Mayor arrive arms linked. She has a new boob job and he is looking dapper as ever. George has taken action. He is strapped up high to an upright sunbed outside the front door. Not unlike the tanned JC. Sandra goes ballistic. It’s her shop and money, there’s nothing he can do about it. George preaches his newfound truth of common treasury. Dark clouds form. Sandra waves his logo on the back of the lease documents. It’s over. Suddenly she bursts into flames. Divine wrath. People flee. Mayor is de-wigged. George smiles.

Biblical Connection

Naboths Vineyard. When the greedy king Ahab and the influencer Jezebel admire the fruitful vineyard of a local farmer. They intend to have it. Ignoring all the historical and family connections with this farm. They see only produce, money and power. Jezebel influences those around the farmer to conspire against him. The farmer is put to death and the evil rulers inherit the land. But they are cursed. Set upon by divine intervention. Gods wrath. My story is influenced by the class struggles between ruling elites and commoners. With a central theme of faith/ community values. The vineyard/ tanning salon is the centre of community and a life force and energy for the towns people. When this is threatened, a newfound community inspiration must emerge. We must fight back against oppression and stand up for ourselves in the face of adversity. If we stand up together. We will be rewarded.